6 Reasons Why the Rest Canada Hates Vancouver Drivers
There’s a reason why the majority of the country has a massive hate-on for Vancouver. Though we aren’t the city that birthed Chad Kroeger or Justin Bieber, we are the reason that many a driver needs to chant calming mantras while driving their daily commute. Because Vancouver drivers? Everyone sort of, kind of, definitely hates you.
So a word to the wise. Take some early morning yoga, become one with your inner zen, and pop in a medication tape a la Deepak Chopra. Because if you plan on driving in Vancouver, here are a few things you should know before you get on the road.
1. New Drivers
The myriad of young, inexperienced drivers with ‘L’s’ and ‘N’s’ slapped across their rear windows can seriously clog up the roads with hesitant. We’re all about learning new things, don’t get us wrong. And it’s cute watching new drivers learn the ins and outs of braking smoothly and shouldering checking six or seven times before merging, taking 30 seconds longer to figure out who got to the 4 way stop first. But it gets old, fast. Especially after seeing brightly coloured ‘L’s’ stuck on shiny, new Beamers, Benz’s, and Bentley’s – new drivers remind you have terrible it is to learn new things and also where you are in the totem pole of car status.
2. Merging
There is a fine art to merging. Moving safely into a lane of speeding cars is a delicate dance that requires patience, skill, and the ability to control your perspiration. Much like Dion in Clueless, merging inadequately can result in some laughable, but often times serious, consequences. It’s sort of like when you walk in front of someone and the two of you try to move to the side of each other but end up moving to the same side. Only with fast moving sheets of metal and angry gesturing. Or there are those passive aggressive drivers that seem willing to let you pass, only to find they get angry when you do take the lane, and tail gate you to no end. Can’t we all just get along?
3. Left Turns
Ah, left turns. The struggle city of driving in Vancouver. You’re driving down the street, minding your own business, going the speed limit like the respectable citizen you are. Suddenly, the person in front of you turns on their left turn signal at the last minute, because they realized they prefer to go through life unprepared and like to make decisions at the last split second. Meanwhile, you’ve slammed on your breaks and sloshed coffee all over you, and now you’re stuck behind the jerk who couldn’t make up his mind in a reasonable amount of time while everyone else flies past you. And don’t get us started on the people who try to turn left on a clearly labelled One Way Street. Just. The. Worst.
4. Cyclists
The love-hate relationship between drivers and cyclists in Vancouver is well-documented, and is epitomized by the many bike lane issues that has formed a divide in many a Vancouverite’s friendship. Whether you are pro-bike lane or anti-bike lane, there is always someone griping about the state of the city’s use of tax dollars going to bike lanes. Cyclists bring out a whole new kind of road rage in Vancouver drivers, who feel their road counterparts take up too much space. Wherever you land on the great Bike Lane Debate, just remember your calming belly breathes and you’ll be just fine.
5. Pedestrians and Jaywalkers
Especially on right turns, Vancouver drivers can be pretty oblivious when it comes to pedestrians who are trying to cross the street. And pedestrians jaywalk in Vancouver like it’s nobody’s business. But the difference between jaywalkers in Vancouver vs. jaywalkers anywhere else is the speed: Vancouver jaywalkers walk slow to get from one side of the street to the other. We get it, you have the right of way, you’re a person, not a vehicle. Could you just…can you not…would you just move there a little faster?
6. Slow Drivers
Remember that episode in Friends where Ross gets a ticket for driving too slowly, and tries to get out of it by flirting with the traffic cop? While reckless drivers are scary, slow drivers are just plain annoying. Listen: we’re not advocating for you to drive like Speed Racer. But there is a reason for the right hand lane. Slow drivers cause accidents, too. Always be aware of your surrounding drivers and always know the speed limit. When in doubt, do the speed everyone is doing, for your own safety. If nothing else, it’ll save you a very embarrassing “speeding” ticket.