5 July 2016 1:44 pm / Road Trip Drivers Buy a Car Finance a Car

5 Road Ragers That Just Need a Hug

There is a special class of drivers who feel perpetually irked every time they get behind the wheel. You know them as Road Ragers.

Whether you have one in your life and are one, these relaxation-challenged drivers, for whatever reason, have a bunch of pent up anger that they take out on the road, other drivers, or their steering wheel once their hands are at 10 and 2. Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to avoid them, ignore them, or get Good Will Hunting on them and kill their anger with kindness. There, there, rager: It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.

The Competitor

Go, go, go, fast, fast, fast. Words to live by when you’re looking out for number 1, which, in the eyes of the Competitor, and our first Road Rager, is the aim of the game. They must get to the stop light first, must weave in and out of highway traffic, effectively (in their mind) cutting down time and beating the other drivers in the rat race that is Monday-Friday. When they don’t get their way? They’re quick to pound their steering wheel or yell inaudible things at you. Cool your jets, Herby. Try a cup morning of decaf, respect your fellow drivers, and pop in a meditation audio book to soothe your tattered, bitter soul.

Road Maverick

Ah, the Mavericks of the road. Like their Top Gun name-sake a la Tom Cruise, these road ragers think that the only rules are their rules: therefore, they break them. As in, all the time. This is the kind of driver who is fairly certain that the Driver’s Handbook was made for other people, not them. The kind that knows they are far too talented a driver to adhere to the listen to the “conventional” wisdom of traffic laws, speed limits, and stop signs. When asked if they ever stop and think about how their rebelliousness could cause accidents, they’ll fix you with that disconcerting stare reminiscent of a T.Cruise smoulder, scoff and say: “I feel the need…the need for speed!”


Judge Judy’s

These judge-y road ragers are constantly volunteering as tribute to police the everyday commuter. They are the hero we don’t need and commit their acts of heroism like they are modern day martyrs. Did you signal properly? Did you properly observe the 2 way stop sign? Is your registration decal not displayed? Don’t worry. The volunteer police are there to ensure, through enough tirade of pointing, waving, honking, and head shaking, that you know just how much you failed society, and they won’t stop judging you until you are off the road and, quote, out of harm’s way.

Road Divas

These drivers are the Kanye West’s of the driving world. They are elite. They might even have their own fashion line. They are far above the rest of us, are always wondering how the rest of the world is out to get them, and, if they met Taylor Swift on the street, you can guarantee they would rush her and steal her Grammy. Road Divas think that the plebian concerns, like backed up traffic due to construction, is beneath them, and like to speed up, dart in at the last possible moment, then sit in cue, sneering that someone like them is forced to wait.

The Screaming Rager

We saved the best for last. What is worse than all of the above? The Screaming Rager. Not a rare breed, thanks to the evolution of technology and the affluence of Youtube, the screaming rager is prone to rolling down their window to let you know exactly what they’re thinking, only at a higher decibel than normal, human-being tones. You’ll often find veins popping out of their necks, a slew of unsavory words, gestures, and aggressive body language spewing form their body. You may even see them exit their vehicle to puff out their chest and have an exchange with a fellow driver. They’re the three ringed circus of the road ragers, the kind you wish you had a bowl of popcorn for.

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